Dolly Mink: Years of experience in Christian leadership and service have given Dolly a unique perspective, and she is eager to share her observations, insights, and words of encouragement in a way that honors her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Dolly serves on the Women’s Ministry Leadership Team at River Oak Church in Chesapeake and is the Women’s Ministry coordinator for the SBCV.
Last time (see A Guide to Accidental Mentoring – Part 1) we looked at a list of expectations and boundaries for mentors. Now we are going to address “mentees” and what to expect from the perspective of a learner.
Please note once again that it is important for both parties to read each other’s expectations. Relationships work best when there is mutual communication.
For the Mentee:
- Allowing someone in your life as a mentor does not mean that they have control over you. You always answer to God first.
- Mentors are human. They are not perfect. Remember Romans 3:23 and do not place your mentor on a pedestal.
- The maturity of the mentor should never make you feel “less than.” You are on a faith journey; everyone’s is different. You may not have had the same experiences as your mentor, but you have had some that they haven’t had. You’re a child of God – never forget that.
- Your mentor has godly influence over you, but not power. As you grow in Christ, He will lead you to make choices and decisions based on His plan for your life. Together, with your mentor, you can be excited about what that is going to look like.
- Mentors should never pressure you or force you to do anything that is against Scripture or that is not in line with doctrine. If you see that happening, you need to let someone close to you know.
- Your mentor is not your best friend. While you may really enjoy their company, they are entitled to their own life and their own friends, and you are, too. Further, your mentor may be meeting with other women to mentor them. Your mentor should never try to cause division or isolation.
For both of you:
- Establish a set time to meet, if that works best for you.
- It’s a good idea to set a time limit for your meetings. If you are using a book, then commit to meet for the length of time that it takes to go through the book. Once that ends, you can re-evaluate the relationship.
- Allow the Holy Spirit to guide your time together. Remember that you are meeting in order to grow together in the Lord, and only God can guide that.
- Time is valuable. If you cannot meet, be considerate and give your mentor/mentee plenty of notice.
Developing a healthy mentoring relationship takes time. You cannot rush what only God can do. Be patient and pray that you are both receptive to His leading and to the work that He has for you. May God bless you both as you strive to grow in Him and to bring Him all the glory!
