Let’s be honest. We all get disappointed sometimes. I know, as Christians we are told and taught about joy and sufficiency and perspective and all of the words that describe our position in God’s heart and His in ours. We are His and nothing can change that. But a little slice of our humanity remains even after our salvation; that small percentage of our self that takes a look at a negative situation and causes us to hang our head and sigh. Because no matter how much we try, no matter how hard we try to perceive it and spin it and put it into a better perspective,
and even no matter how hard we pray, some outcomes are just not…good.
This is dangerous territory I’m in. If you don’t read carefully what I write carefully, we both may come away from this misled and misunderstood. This is about why we become disappointed.
I am not a counselor. I say that often in this blog, partly for legal reasons and partly because I know I don’t have all the answers and I don’t want you to think that I think that I do. Only One has all of them and He is your Counselor. I do know, however, a few things after living on the planet for 57 years.
So I want to outline three main reasons I think we, especially we Christians, experience disappointment.
1. We create unrealistic expectations.
Face it, we want our spouse to be successful, intelligent, attractive, and attentive at all times and also not to leave anything where it doesn’t belong. We expect our children to have straight As, letter in all sports, be accomplished musicians, and have no cavities. We want our jobs to be fulfilling and we want the copier to never be “down.” And we want church to be uplifting at all times with minimal effort from us because we want to serve but we DO NOT want the stress! And we want everything else to look EXACTLY like it looks on Pinterest. Every. Single. Time. Not gonna happen. Why? Here’s an answer my sons are tired of hearing:
This isn’t heaven.
Did you get that? How can we expect perfection when there is NO WAY that it can be achieved on earth? We may get things right sometimes, but I assure you it can not and will not happen every time.
Heaven happens in heaven.
I am not trying to sound trite, nor is this an attempt to dismiss sadness or grief. Those are totally different emotions and they need to be respected and dealt with from a different perspective. But if you are finding yourself frustrated because “things just aren’t going your way,” you may need to ask the difficult question of whether they are going “God’s way.” Because that is exactly and only the way you should want them to go.
NEXT WEEK: Part 2 of Dealing with Disappointment
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dolly Mink has a heart for women who are hurting. Years of experience in Christian leadership have given her a unique perspective and she is eager to share her observations insights, and words of encouragement all in a way that honors her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Dolly serves on the Women’s Ministry Leadership Team at River Oak Church in Chesapeake, and on the SBCV Women’s Ministry Leadership Team.
To read more, visit her blog, Grateful for the Grace.