In a Wednesday night women’s group, a question was posed: “Who has a hard time asking for help?”
In a room of at least 20 women, an overwhelming majority shot their tired hands in the air. I found my hand in unison with the majority. It was instinctual.
We were wrapping up an incredible study called “Ribology” by Charlotte Gimball, that provided new perspective and challenged our very nature as women.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized most of us had bought into the same generational lie from the enemy. Straight from the thrift store clearance rack, that’s how old of a lie it is he’s been selling.
You know what the worst part is? It still sells. Every time.
Here are what some of the sale tags read:
“Don’t be a burden.”
“Don’t appear weak.”
“What will people think of you?”
Our very nature as women has been thwarted, adulterated, cheapened by the enemy’s deception and our willingness to concede and accept the lie that we are stronger alone.
Help is for the desperate and weak. We are no such thing, because desperation and weakness can’t possibly be God’s way because our self-help books tell us differently, and our influencers tell us differently, and we’ve been raised by women who fundamentally opposed aid lest they appeared anything less than the picture of strength.
Yet the Lord tells Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, Paul boasts all the more in his weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon him. When he is weak, then he is strong.
Well, what does Paul know about being a woman?
I say that jokingly, but how many times have we held on to our own strength and forgone God’s perfect strength because we didn’t want to be a burden to Him, we didn’t want to appear weak, because we’re supposed to have it all together?
It’s a heart issue rooted in pride, I’m afraid.
And not the obvious, egotistical kind.
The quiet kind, the self-deprecating kind that lures you away from dependency on God.
If we struggle to be dependent on God, how can we be interdependent with His body?
There is a pathway to allowing others to carry your burdens with hands open and steady breath.
We must first embrace God’s help.
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.”
Isaiah 55:1 “Is anyone thirsty? Come and drink even if you have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk, it’s all free!”
Jesus’s way is that your burden would be made light, first by Him, then by those around you.
We must embrace the help of others.
Galatians 6:2 «Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ».
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 «Two are better than one… For if they fall, one will lift the other up. But pity the one who falls and has no one to lift them up… A cord of three strands is not quickly broken».
1 Corinthians 1:3-4 «Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God»
These verses aren’t just commands to give help, but to receive as well.
Our refusal to receive help hinders another’s obedience.
Our resistance to sharing our burden hinders not only our blessing, but the blessing of the ones who open their hearts and their hands ready to help you carry your load.
Our refusal to share our troubles not only robs others of an opportunity to use their pain for the purpose of comforting us, but it robs us of the gift of comfort.
The beauty of it all is letting others help you actually helps them walk in obedience.
Isn’t it time we broke the cycle?
Isn’t it time we stopped buying the enemy’s tired cheap lies and instead received God’s goodness and provision free of charge?
I would rather pass this inheritance down to my daughters than to continue to pass along this generational lie that we are stronger alone.
I’d rather teach them dependency on God and interdependency with His church.
After all, it is His design, and it is good.
From now on, when a sister offers help, receive it well.
It is God’s gift and provision reserved for you.
