“Put a smile on.”
“Suck it up.”
“Get it together.”
“Not the right place or the right time.”
“You are (fill in the blank)! This is not what we do!”
Sound familiar?
Let’s face it. We were raised in a generation of church culture that taught us vulnerability equates to weakness, lack of faith, credibility, and ability. “Don’t trust anyone with your stuff.” “There is no room for your struggles in ministry.” So, we did what we were told. We put a smile on. We sucked it up, put ourselves together with Scotch tape and Elmer’s glue and we pressed on in the name of Jesus, bearing the badge of strength and faith in God…and we suffered alone.
I’m here to tell you that this was not God’s design.
It wasn’t until I was deep in the trenches of my own suffering that I found myself righteously angry over how we’ve completely misconstrued Christ’s design for His Church, and equally angry over my contribution to this false narrative. I was drowning and I had no one, and it was no one’s fault but my own. I did this. I perpetuated this. I was the picture of resilience and strength…until I wasn’t. I began to think of how many people were suffering like I was.
Please hear me when I say, “Jesus+nothing=everything, everyday, forever!”
Equally true: community was very important to Jesus and was a big part of His ministry on Earth. Before He ascended to Heaven, He not only promised us the Holy Spirit, He established the Church, the very family of God!
God began speaking to me through His word, exposing my “strength” for what it was: deeply rooted pride. He brought me to Acts 2, where it all started, the early Church that is. These new believers had one thing in common: the promised Holy Spirit, but they did everything together. “All the believers devoted themselves to the apostle’s teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing meals, and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42 NLT)
Then He walked me through Romans 12. “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” (Romans 12:9-10)
I have more.
“Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with the wisdom he gives.” (Colossians 3:16)
“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.” (Galatians 6:2-3)
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” (James 5:16)
So how did we ever get to
“Put a smile on.”
“Suck it up.”
“Get it together.”
“Not the right place or the right time.”
“You are (fill in the blank)! This is not what we do!”
I have to be honest with you. As a pastor’s wife, this was a daily struggle for me as it was deeply ingrained. I wanted to be an example.
A put-together, pristine, picture of perfection. I wanted to have influence. I would’ve never thought it’d come from vulnerability in the crushing, shining a light on my weakness instead of my “strengths.” Sisters, we must repent from this illusion of strength. It only feeds the generational curse that is a false ideation of the Church. We do ourselves no favors when we suffer alone. I’m here to implore you today.
Let the lie go! Let it go!
We are made to do life together. We are made to share in our sufferings, not just our successes. We are made to bear each other’s burdens, confess to one other, counsel, encourage, admonish, trust, weep with one another, rejoice with one another!
How can we live out God’s word is we refuse to obey all of it??
You, with the broken marriage!
You, suffering with anxiety and depression!
You, with the wayward child!
You, suffering with infertility!
You, healing from miscarriage!
I beg you, walk together in the Spirit of God today!
Be the Church to one another!
“Together, we are His house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus Himself. We are carefully joined together in Him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord.” (Ephesians 2:20-21)
