When Going Into A New Year Means Leaving a Hard One Behindenero 18, 2022

A few weeks ago, my husband had the opportunity to deliver the first Sunday morning message of the new year at our church. I treasure so much sitting in the front row as the Lord uses him to communicate to His people. As he shared what the Lord laid on his heart, he mentioned how the two of us had intentionally come together a few days prior at the end of 2021 to reflect on the year. It was a bittersweet time…

As we sat on the couch in our living room, he began asking questions that were prompts for deep conversation, reflection, and things that we wanted to shift or implement in the coming year. I don’t think he got past the first question, broad as it was, before my eyes were full of tears. I couldn’t bring myself to answer him…I could feel the emotions making their way to the surface and I knew if I opened my mouth to speak, they would rush out in the form of sobbing. Continually encouraging me to share my heart with him, the only words I could muster were, “It’s been a hard year.” My eyes continued to glance at the folded, embroidered baby blanket perfectly draped over the blanket ladder resting against a corner in our living room. My mom had given it to me earlier that spring right after my husband and I traumatically lost our first baby. As she handed it to me, she said, “Every baby deserves a blanket.” I couldn’t stop replaying that moment in my mind, the way it so valued and esteemed our little one, thinking of the person that God had given us and taken away before we could ever know them.

Honestly, the first question he asked led to one of the most powerfully vulnerable conversations my husband and I have ever had. And in the most restorative, God-like way, a few days later after my husband preached that Sunday morning, a gentleman approached us. Eagerly, he began sharing of the people he personally knew who had experienced miscarriages in 2021 but were now expecting babies in 2022. “Praise the Lord!”, I responded, grateful that we were included in that testimony. But as he continued to share, he told of a fellow police officer who he frequently rides with during shifts. He shared of his strong desire to tell them our story in order to offer them hope, but the right moment just hadn’t seem to come yet. In this instant, my heart experienced something it hadn’t before…I realized that in the most significant way possible, my baby’s life was still a shining light through their story. They weren’t forgotten, they were honored in the most impactful way as people shared their legacy to spread the hope of Jesus. I had no idea that others would end up sharing our story and what God had done.

That’s the thing about pain, loss, hardships, and suffering…these experiences bear fruit we may never see on this side of glory. Our idea of “good” may not look like God’s idea, but ultimately, His plan is best. We don’t always get the results or ending we asked or even begged for. Nonetheless, nothing is wasted, He is always working. I sincerely hope you confidently stand on this truth in the deepest parts of your soul as you allow your Savior to tenderly mend any brokenness.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28