This is the first part in a series of leadership blogs I have been working on. In this series, I plan to share some of the lessons I have learned over the course of my life as a leader. My hope is that you can learn from what I share and that you can be the leader God has called you to be.
As a women’s ministry leader, sometimes you need to add new members to your team. You may be building a new team or just filling empty spots. Effective leaders choose someone who will be responsible and who will get the job done. Often that leads us to consider a good friend. I mean, if she’s using her gifts, what’s the harm?
As comforting as it is to have a close friend on a team we lead, there are inherent dangers in it. Here are a few things to keep in mind when adding your BFF to your team:
- You run the risk of looking like a clique. If we aren’t careful, any team can seem very “removed” from the rest of the congregation. We have to be intentional about inclusivity, and that applies to the team you lead as well. How will it appear to the rest of the team when you always choose to sit with, room with, travel with, and eat with the same friend? Try hard to remain balanced in the attention you give to all your team members.
- Make a plan for what is going to happen if she requires discipline. Be ready to have that conversation by having it ahead of time. Ministry covenants that are signed by all members must apply to all members. Having that established ahead of time will pay off if the need arises.
Jesus chose men who were willing to follow Him as He led them and taught them and served alongside them. Yes, John is identified at “the disciple Jesus loved.” Jesus even loved John so much He entrusted the care of His own mother to Him. But at no time do we ever see Jesus slight the other disciples or give the appearance of favoritism.
- Remember your goal. If your team mission is to lead women closer to God and to each other, your role as leader is to facilitate that. If having your best friend on the team you lead is more of a distraction than an asset, you need to be strong enough in your leadership to be able to make that difficult decision.
Good ministries create atmospheres where all women feel welcome to events, Bible studies, fellowships, and retreats. Connecting with all women equally is the best way to make that happen.