Dolly Mink: Years of experience in Christian leadership and service have given Dolly Mink a unique perspective, and she is eager to share her observations, insights, and words of encouragement to the women of Virginia. Dolly seeks to accomplish this through teaching, training, and writing. In addition to her role with the SBCV, she leads women’s Bible study at River Oak Church in Chesapeake, where she and her husband are members, and she writes short stories and blogs at https://dollymink.wordpress.com.
Grief.
It’s something that is, unfortunately unavoidable. We all suffer losses in this life, and we all handle them in different, complex ways. As believers, what we do with our grief is often viewed as an example of how far along we are in our walk with Christ. As Christians, we have faith that, if our loved one accepted Christ as Savior and confessed and turned from their sins, asking Jesus to be Lord of their life, then they are welcomed into the presence of God when they breathed their last breath. Because we have this assurance, there is an unspoken expectation that we will mourn with joy and a lighter heart. While that assurance does bring us comfort and peace, it’s not always that easy.
King David’s relationship with his son, Absalom, was…complicated. Lies, deception, jealousy, murder—each one of them had baggage. I mean, trunks, roller bags, shrink-wrapped, and stamped “HEAVY” baggage. So, when David learned of Absolom’s death, he reacted in an extreme way, even to the point of not being able to function as king. (2 Samuel 18-19) Surely Absolom had seen David’s example as a man who, although he struggled with a literal multitude of sins, loved God and loved to worship Him in song. The people under David’s rule saw that, as well. But then why was David grieving so bitterly? Perhaps it was because David’s grieving heart was treading somewhere between the good memories of his son and the ones he wished he could forget.
We all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), but sometimes we do that in ways that just about take down everyone around us. And sadly, we continue to do it, even to the point of destroying relationships and causing irreparable damage. When that happens, and death follows, loved ones are left to grieve amidst feelings of guilt and despair. Not only are we grieving the loss, but the finality of unresolved restoration and our loved one’s lack of repentance. Psalm 34:18, we read, “The Lord is near the brokenhearted, He saves those crushed in spirit” (CSB). This simple verse offers us comfort and the assurance that we are not alone in our grief nor our guilt.
Perhaps you know a caregiver who is struggling with feelings of relief following the passing of one who had suffered long and hard. While they can rejoice that their friend or family member is healed and no longer in pain, they can feel a burden lifted off their shoulders, and that can bring a sense of guilt that they’re even considering thinking about themselves at such a time. Caring for those in pain and illness is hard; walking a long road of sickness beside someone is taxing, emotionally and physically. God understands that we are not meant to bear these burdens alone and that we can rest in the comfort of a Savior who sees us in our fatigue and offers us rest. God understands all of our feelings, and He wants us to lay them all at His feet, for Matthew 11:30 reminds us that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.
We can give our grief and our guilt to Jesus, knowing He will love us through it all.
