I have lived in a Christian home and church my whole life. That has given me a front-row seat to God’s faithfulness—but it has also made me deeply sensitive to every need around me. I have also felt the weight of the ministry: praying, counseling, organizing, teaching, grieving, celebrating, and simply caring for people. I have fallen prey to my own guilt and desire to meet each need to the point of burn out. But over time, after realizing that the way I was operating was not sustainable, I sought the Lord and He gave wisdom as He promises in James 1:5, “to give generously to all without finding fault.”
My husband was clearly called to pastoral ministry, but for a time I struggled to understand what his calling meant for mine. God allowed me to begin discerning His still small whisper of loving guidance above the noise of others’ voices and I began to find deep satisfaction and joy in a role I had once questioned. I felt pressure to fit a version of ‘pastor’s wife’ that God had never actually asked me to become. But when God showed me when and where He wanted me to serve, I found freedom and strength serving exactly where He called me.
I learned that I had been looking for empty spots that needed to be filled and looking to serve them myself regardless of my gifting and calling based on my own guilt. God showed me when I waited and prayed that He had other plans to fill those spots with others who would have joy, energy, giftedness, and creativity in ways I did not. And with that newfound approach, I found renewed joy and energy myself. I When I stopped trying to fill every existing ministry gap, God gave me eyes to see ministries that didn’t even exist yet.
I am so thankful God directed me to a place of freedom in service to Him. If you are experiencing this struggle, I encourage you to contemplate these steps:
- Listen. Ask God for discernment to hear His voice above the noise.
- Obey. Ask God for boldness and confidence to say yes to what He calls you to do and to say “no, thank you” when He makes it clear it is not where He is leading you to serve. It means there is someone else God has in mind to serve in the area He has not given you a peace to pursue.
- Reassess. Make it regular practice to assess your service to the Lord so that you do not approach apathy or burnout. Sometimes it may be other circumstances, but it is good to verify you are serving where the Lord intends if you find your enthusiasm dissipating.
These steps can require repetition. I can certainly still revert. The guilt creeps in, I worry about empty spots, I hear an announcement for a need. There will always be noise. There will always be needs. There will always be empty spots. But every need is not my calling, and every empty spot is not my assignment. My responsibility is to stay close enough to the
Lord that, above all the other voices, I can hear Him say, “This is the way; walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21) and leave room for others to do the same.
