Dolly Mink: Years of experience in Christian leadership and service have given Dolly Mink a unique perspective, and she is eager to share her observations, insights, and words of encouragement to the women of Virginia. Dolly seeks to accomplish this through teaching, training, and writing. In addition to her role with the SBCV, she leads women’s Bible study at River Oak Church in Chesapeake, where she and her husband are members, and she writes short stories and blogs at 
I got a promotion recently: I became a grandmother.
I remember when I was pregnant, how people felt compelled to advise me on everything from feeding schedules to burping techniques. How they had no qualms about retelling their own tragic drama and complicated pregnancies—in great and horrifying detail. But by far the ones who annoyed me most were those who somehow felt entitled to actually touch my growing belly. Um, no.
Future grandmothers, I’m here to warn you: entering grandparenthood has a hype all its own.
No, people aren’t invading my personal space, but they are sharing their own joy in a way that, quite frankly, built up this new role to a whole ‘nother level of wonder and amazement. (Think techno music and lasers here!) In fact, they gave such a build-up, I was afraid I wasn’t going to measure up. Yes, of course I was excited and happy and joyful that the Lord was allowing me to step into this new role, but did I feel as much joy as all my other friends who were grandparents? Was I going to have countless pictures ready to share? Was I anticipating babysitting and had I ordered my own car seat and did I have a nursery set up at my house and sets of clothes and diapers and – the most important question—what was I going to be called?
Friends, it was overwhelming.
I know every one of those women who were excited for me had the very best of intentions. They were happy for me and, based on their own happiness, they anticipated what my joy and feelings would be. However, my feelings were just that- mine. I was the one who felt inadequate, unsure, confused. And that was okay. As followers of Christ, our joy comes from the Lord, and I believe He inspires each of us differently. We cannot define each other’s excitement, anticipation, or happiness. The circumstances surrounding our own personal journeys have shaped those, and they are very real.
I didn’t know my grandparents. They had achieved glory long before I was born. I did have a step-grandmother on my father’s side, but I rarely saw her since she lived in the Midwest and she didn’t enjoy traveling (and she was a little grumpy so that was kind of for the best). And, since my own parents have passed as well, I couldn’t learn from them. So, the best example of grandparenting I had was that of my in-laws. My in-laws were and are amazing grandparents and I am so very thankful my sons still have my mother-in-law with us to be great-grandma. She has shown me that the great thing about being a grandmother is that I get to define that role myself. I get to choose what kinds of things I will emphasize, what my granddaughter will learn and experience and be influenced by as she grows to know me is totally up to me—not some bar that is set by others.
I will tell her she is loved. Treasured. Valued. Not just by me, but mostly and always by God.
I will show her she is safe. That she will never need to be afraid when she is with me.
I will be her friend, her advocate.
I will be supportive of her parents and my fellow grandparents.
I will provide her with space to imagine, to dream, to be free. To be herself.
This is the bar that I have set, and I think it will shape a lasting legacy. Now I’m excited.
Oh, and my grandma name is Lolly, in case you were wondering.
