Bailey Newbern is a Ministry Assistant in Student Ministry at Liberty Live Church in Hampton Roads, VA. She is passionate about discipleship and leading up the next generation of girls, especially girls in middle and high school. She also specifically loves helping young girls and women navigate through depression, anxiety, and other mental health needs through scripture and prayer.
For the past seven years, I’ve been going to counseling pretty much every other week. I cannot even begin to describe the impact that it has made on my life. I had little emotional intelligence or self-awareness of how my brain best processed before getting into counseling. I’ve learned so many valuable tools and skills that basically feel like second nature to me now. I LOVE going to counseling. But it didn’t start out that way.
Seven years ago, I found myself in a dark place, having gone through incredible trials, with no skills on how to work through or process them. A mentor in my life suggested that I start seeing a counselor. No thank you! That sounded scary and like something I definitely did not want to do. I didn’t think it was “for me.” But this trusted mentor took the first step for me. “Bailey, I’ve told Pastor Joe that you will be going to see him today to talk about getting a referral for counseling. He will be expecting to see you.” YOU DID WHAT?! The people pleaser in me and the scared-of-talking-about-my-feelings in me were battling each other. Okay, okay. I’ll go talk to him. To be honest, at this point, I desperately wanted this deep pit of hopelessness to go away. So maybe this would help?
As you can see from my opening paragraph, it helped. I value it so much. And now I suggest it to just about everyone I know.
I’m so, so grateful that I go to a Christian counseling center that beautifully marries mental health with our relationship with the Lord. I think that very often people have the misconception that Christians should not have worries or anxieties. The bible tells us to cast all our anxieties on God. But you have to know how to do that in order to actually do that. Getting help with my mental health helped me in my relationship with the Lord. It helped me to healthily process my thoughts and understand that no matter the circumstance I’m in: God is good, He wants good for me, and He is still with me. When I was deep in depression, I couldn’t understand those things. I truly thought that God was too far for me to grasp. But that was not that case at all.
I work in student ministry with middle and high school students, and I advocate for them to get help like I did. This can be so incredibly challenging because they either don’t like the idea of talking to a stranger (just like I did) or their parents aren’t on board. But I want to change the way that people think about therapy or counseling because of the value that it has added to my life. And I want to advocate for my students as best as I can.
Before seeking counseling, it’s so important to first meet with your pastor, trusted mentor or doctor to gain advice on what they think may be best for you.
I was so incredibly blessed that the first counselor I tried was a great fit for me. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. But don’t be discouraged! If the first one isn’t a good fit, try a different one. The goal is growth and not damage. You want your counselor to align with the Word of God, provide practical tools, encourage you, and to be helpful and not hurtful.
One of the hardest parts is taking the first step. But if God has called you to it, will you listen to Him?
